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Teens - How To Get Anything You Want From You're Parents
This post was inspired by an evening of school shopping that ultimately ended in tempers flaring and a quick trip back home. My teen couldn't understand why my wife was getting frustrated with her until it was too late. While I was walking around the store looking at "thumb drives" because teens need those for school today, which is a whole other topic, my wife got so frustrated she just went out to the car and waited for us.
This made my teen angry since the cold realization quickly set in that not only was she not getting the $80 backpack she wanted or the expensive folders etc, but now she wasn't getting any school supplies at all that day. How could this be she asks? My teachers gave me the list, I gave it to my parents and told them what to buy, where to buy it, how much to buy and when I wanted it. To my teen this made no sense at all, why couldn't she have what "she" wanted? We've had several episodes like this, so I felt it was time to give my teen and other teens some inside information on how to get anything they wanted from their parents.
Warning
The tips are considered "top-secret" and complete insider information. In fact if other parents knew I wrote this post and exposed this information my rights as a parents could be revoked so please handle this information with extreme care.
10 tips for teens on how to get anything you wantfrom you're parents
- Respect - You've heard you have to give respect to get respect. Well, this is the case for getting what you want from your parents too. If you don't show you're parents respect they won't give you any respect. Respect alone will go a long ways. Try to show a positive regard for your parents and appreciate any sacrifices they make for you. Try to honor you're parents even if you have to fake every second of it. However, if you feel like you have to fake "respect" be careful on how you use you're tone and body language as it can give you away or even worse come off as "sarcasm". Obey the rules of the house that your parents have set. When you ask you're parents for something they are going to look at your track record and apply it to the current situation. However, if you're obeying the rules this won't be an obstacle for you.
- Earn - This is a great word to use when you're wanting to get something from yourparents. If the word earn or earned is applied correctly it can make a powerful and persuasive statement. For example, "Dad, what can I do to earn this?". Warning, do not misuse the word in a sentence like this, "Dad, I've earned this so give it to me!" Byletting your parents know that you're willing to earn something, it takes their guard down a little so their knee jerk reaction to say "no" is softened a little. It also shows signs of maturity.
- Attitude - This is going to be a hard one for some teenagers, but you're going to have to lose the bad attitude if it's a problem for you. I know you don't have a bad attitude because if you did your friends would have probably said something by now right? If your parents are bringing it up then it can become toxic and really be a hinderance when you want something. A bad attitude will almost always never get what it wants. Keep the attitude in check even if you have to fake it. This rule is very similar to respect in that if you're going to fake it be mindful of your body language and tone. Don't roll you're eyes, roll you're head, snap you're fingers, slam doors etc.
- Entitlement - Some teens may have heard this word before from their parents, but maybe some haven't. This day in age we're living in an age of entitlement where adults, teens & kids feel like they are entitled to "stuff". This entitlement attitude has honestly hurt the entire country and quickly becoming a hot topic for parents to deal with. This is really just a feeling that you deserve something because everyone else has it. Having an entitlement attitude is one of the hot buttons for most parents and will usually shut a parent down from granting any wish you want. In you're head, go over how you can "earn" this thing you're wanting and present it to your parents like that rather than the attitude that you deserve it.
- Research - If you're wanting a "thing" than you'll need to take the time to do your homework. Get on Google and research everything you can about the "thing" so you have answers to questions up front. This is a valuable skill you can use later in life since it helps you become ready for objections. When you're parents ask questions about the "thing" then you'll be ready to answer then rationally.
- Kindness - You've heard the saying "Kill them with kindness" right? Be kind to yourparents and other adults. Start out by offering to help with the little things like laundry, house chores, yard work, etc. This goes a long ways for the golden word parents are looking for in their teens called "maturity". Granting the wish of a mature teen is easier than granting the wish of a rotten teen.
- Tantrum - If at first you don't succeed in getting what you want simply say "ok" in the calmest voice you can and walk away. Go somewhere you can let out you're frustration until it's gone. Don't give you're frustration to your parents or you'll never get what you want. You need to approach them again when the timing is better and always let their "no" be "no". Give you're parents some space and come back again later, but never throw a tantrum. When you throw a tantrum is reduces the "maturity" points.
- Patience - This is perhaps the hardest thing to learn as a teenager because most of the time a teen is wanting something right then. You'll have to be patient with yourrequests and work on your parents with patients. Be mindful of the right timing. If you're Mom is obviously in a bad mood then don't approach her to buy you new shoes for a formal dance. Wait until she is a good mood, but gently bring up the subject.
- Chill - Just like teens think their parents need to chill, the same can be said for teens. When a teen throws a tantrum and looses their cool so does the parent. Teens can help control the situation by remaining calm and cool. Calmly acknowledge you're parents decision by saying "ok" then walk away until you can calm down.
- Ask - If you don't get the answer you're looking for after all the tips I've presented it's ok to ask "Why?" but do it in a respectful way. For example, you can say something like "I understand don't want me to have this thing, but can you tell me why?" Sometimes a parent will have a valid reason, and they may explain it to you. Sometimes the reason may be totally irrational. If that's the case then just say "ok", walk away and go somewhere to calm down until the timing is right to bring it up again.
Here are some other things that you should be aware of so you know where your parents arecoming from when they give you an answer.
- Safety - Parents always want to keep you safe so many times a parent will say no because they don't feel "safe" about what you're asking for one reason or another. Let them know what steps you're going to take to keep yourself safe.
- Disrespect - Disrespect is you're worst enemy. You need to avoid this at all costs as it will almost always end in a bad situation for yourself. Every parent wants to know they are respected, but never disrespected. Be careful in how you ask for something so that you don't come off to your parents as disrespectful. Additionally if you're parents say "no" be very careful what you say next so that it's not considered disrespectful. A safe answer is simply "ok" then go somewhere calmly to let out you're frustrations until you're calm enough to talk to your parents again. You may have to repeat this step a few times.
- Maturity - Every parent is training a future adult that will one day have to take care of themselves. Parents are always looking for signs that their kids are taking steps to take care of themselves and show maturity. You can take great leaps by showing maturity early. All the tips I've listed above if done correctly will go a long ways towards maturity.
- Love - No matter what you think, you're parents love you. Some parents are better than others in how they show love. When you love someone, your worst fear is losing that person. Be mindful that they love you and show them you love them as well.
Practice the tips I've outlined above until you've got it perfected and I promise you that you'll get everything you ever wanted from your parents. These tips aren't just for your parents but will work for just about anyone. If you can perfect this technique you'll go far. Good luck!
About the Author
My name is Jim Slusher and I'm the parent of a teen. I feel like I'm talking to a crowd of people that responds "Hi Jim". Ha can you relate with that?
You're teen maybe older than mine or perhaps you're still in that awkward stage just before things start getting real interesting. You know what I'm talking about right? The backtalk, the new attitude, the eye rolling, the door slamming, mobile phones, Facebook & suddenly you don't know anything at all.
Well you're not alone. I'm feeling my way around in the dark with raising my teen, but I'm committed to making it a learning experience. I've learned a lot so far about not only about my teen but about myself as well. I'm online all day and often into the hours of the night so some might say I'm pretty web savvy too.
Suddenly I'm into Facebook, looking at keyloggers, mobile spy software, parental controls, love & logic and all kinds of resources that will hopefully help shed some light in this bleary tunnel.
My goal with this blog is to explore ways to parent a teen successfully and still keeping a good line of communication open in today's digital world. I'll share my experiences with you as well as any research I uncover about raising a teen in today's digital world. I maintain a blog at Parentingateen.comWish me luck.
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